Someone asked me the other day how I am. Well I’m 80% Zombie, 10% Caffeine and 10% Chocolate! These past few months have completely flown, it baffles me how pregnancy feels like a millennium and yet once baby is here a week is over in the blink of an eye.
Now I’ll be honest it’s been bloody hard work, they play tag with daytime sleeps, Ethan gives me the odd night where I get a 4 hour block of sleep otherwise it’s 2hourly wake ups and then there’s still the cleaning, the cooking, the washing, shopping, and running Latched. I have no time for friends, a social life or personal time. My psoriasis has been flaring up again and there’s a few life issues I’m trying to deal with.
I feel like having a girl first has definitely been a benefit, her caring nature and calm playing style means she’s happy to sit and play with puzzles, dolls & books whilst I spend time feeding. Not a luxury that friends with boys have experienced (this is based on my opinion not based on fact). She’s been so patient with me whilst I learn to juggle two, sync routines where I can and still try to make her days fun.
In the beginning her unconditional love for her brother meant when he was feeding she just wanted to be close to him. We would sit and she would hold his feet whilst cuddling up to me giving me the time needed to meet the demanding feeds of a newborn baby. As this was my second time breastfeeding I found those early stages of toe-curling pain at the start of each feed and the round the clock cluster feeding much easier to cope with. I also think my body was much more efficient the second time around. Being able to breastfeed has definitely helped as i'm not sure how I would've factored in cleaning and sterilising bottles and ensuring we had enough formula in the house. One less thing to worry about!
I definitely have mum guilt over the lack of cute newborn pictures and lack of baby sensory classes (in my defence I tried to book for this term but it was full) and I have been quoted saying my mum style is to “neglect them both equally” trying to give them both individual attention and still function as a human. The second child benefits from all the learning that happened with the first but suffers from the lack of time available. I remember with Harper I would watch her for hours sleeping in my arms, Ethan gets to do this for a maximum for an hour a day if Harper is sleeping too.
There are so many beautiful parts about two under two though. They are so close already, every morning Harper wakes up and asks to " I go see brother". His face when she walks into a room just glows and smiles, they love having a cuddle and reading a book before bed. I know they will be friends, by each other’s sides for the long run.
Some days I want to break down and cry and others I feel like i'm bossing mumlife but if you were to ask, would I do it again? I would have to say ABSOLUTELY!!! The pro's surpass the con's every. single. day. and I cannot wait for the adventures ahead.